When I hear the similar messages from people who are in different circles, I have to take heed.
Yesterday , the universe told me not to resist my joy.
Resisting my Joy. Maybe you’ve heard it a different way. Self-sabotage. Fear of success. At PowerUP Weekend, Uneeka Jay called it “repossessing your YES.” Danielle LaPorte calls it an upper limit problem. What ever you call it, this mindset can hold us back from our successes. Danielle LaPorte’s definition of an upper limit problem resonated with me:
When the stakes are high or when the success is more than you’ve experienced before, Upper Limit Problems can strike.
You rain on your own parade. You make a windfall of cash and you get into a car accident. You fall in love and you pick a silly fight. You come down with something before a big moment…
Yesterday, I ran into a friend I met about four years ago. Our oldest kids were in the same playgroup. Back then, I didn’t feel like we had a lot in common, besides our kids. She worked full time outside the home, had two kids, and owned a gorgeous home in which she hosted the playgroup often. She worked in a professional environment and had multiple degrees. The stereotypical professional woman in DC. Me? I was just a work at home mom hustling to work my Passion Parties business, trying to do my share to keep my family afloat. I started a blog but I didn’t know what I wanted from it.
Jump forward. My friend B has left her job in order to spend more time with her children. Turns out we’re both doing work in the social media space. As our youngest kids ran around the play center, we caught up on the last three years. Our paths have plopped us in the same space, making similar journeys in our careers and family life.
I told B about my career goals, even a job interview I went on this summer–my first in 8 years. As she gave thoughtful advice and suggestions for me to achieve my goal, it hit me. I know what I want, but the changes scared me. That manifested in self-doubt in my ability to take my career to the next level. I started making excuses why I couldn’t do it. It would be too much of a lifestyle change. The commute was long. I’m not qualified enough. On and on these gremlin thoughts raced through my head. And you thought I was so pulled together?
See how the universe works? Bam! Two similar revelations in one day.
Today I’m making a conscious decision to embrace my joy. I’m allowed to be happy. I’m allowed to achieve my goals. I’m allowed to believe in myself. I’m allowed to accept compliments from others and own it.
Granted, this is no easy thing to do. I can’t do this by myself. I will continue to surround myself with people who support my dream. I will allow them to lift me up. When my husband or a trusted friend tells me what a good writer I am, I won’t brush it off. He’s just saying that because he’s supposed to. She’s just being nice to me. My recovering inner perfectionist likes to tell me that I can always do better. It even gives me the same look my dad did when I brought home one B on my report card (aka the Asian F).
I took the words from Danielle LaPorte’s email and created the image above as a reminder. I’m going to print it out and tape it next to my computer.
I’m going to take a deep breath and dive into something that scares me. But I”m going to embrace the joy that it will bring me, no matter what the outcome.
How do you resist your joy and what do you do to embrace it?
I’m a huge fan of Danielle LaPorte. I love her book, The Fire Starter Sessions: A Soulful + Practical Guide to Creating Success on Your Own Terms. I’m currently working through her The Desire Map program. She’s real, tells it like it is, and embraces her joy. (Affiliate links)