Just a little warning that you might not want to read this if you don’t like, um, bugs.
I’m a roach killer. Or I used to be. I never wanted to be one of those girls who shrieked and jumped when they saw a bugs or insects. For the most part, I don’t mind most insects or spiders. Growing up, the bug that freaked me out the most were roaches. Not just any little roach, but the ginormous, Louisiana ones.
I’m not going to post any photos of the Louisianian species of roaches. In fact for my sanity, I’m not even going to Google the “Louisiana roaches” for the official name. What makes these southern roaches so, uh, special? They fly. Fly as in wings, airborne. Imagine a 2-3 inch long cockroach flying around your bedroom and then landing upside down on the ceiling right over your bed.
Are you itching yet? Even the DC’s cicada apocalypse did not incite the fear I feel whenever I think back to those flying roaches. In fact, my heart is racing as I type this. When I was a kid, my sister would wake me up to point out those buggers on her ceiling. We would never dream of waking up our parents if we discovered those insects past our bedtime.
Even though I was just as freaked out as my sister, I had to be tough. Because I’m the oldest. I’m supposed to protect her. From an insect that I could easily squash. Except it would fly if I went after it. (I almost want to stop writing this post because, oh the bad memories are FREAKING ME OUT.) So I threw balled up socks at the stupid cockroach. To make it run away so neither my sister or I had to kill it. So we could actually fall asleep without worrying that it would land on us.
Ok, I’ve totally freaked myself out.
I only feel this way about the ginormous flying cockroaches. Those little baby ones, I can squash like the heartless bug killer I am.
Now that I’m married, I rely on my husband to kill them. Thank goodness Maryland doesn’t have too many of those flying tree roaches. Still if it’s not teeny tiny baby sized and my husband is home, I totally shriek for Mr. Roach Hunter to kill them.
This post is inspired by Getting Married and Other Mistakes by Barbara Slate. Jo, the graphic novel’s protagonist, confesses to her therapist that she stayed in a bad marriage because her husband killed all the roaches for her.