Recently at a friend’s yard sale, Sophia had $20 burning a hole in her pocket. She poked around a small table of toys and pulled out one well-loved naked Caucasian baby doll.
“Are you sure you want this?” I asked skeptically since she has never expressed more than a passing interested in dolls. She went on to bargain for the doll, from a quarter to 10 cents! She was so proud of herself. It’s the first toy she picked out and paid for herself.
When she was a baby, I sewed a doll with the same skin color as Sophia. She never really played with Super Sophia. So now the first doll she chose is one whose skin tone isn’t anywhere close to anyone in her family
A couple of years ago this would have bothered me. I felt that I should expose her to toys and books with kids that looked like her. Back then, I would seek out dolls who looked like her– or multi-racial at least. Now I believe differently. I’ve done my best to teach her to be proud of who she is–both inside and out.
As I observed her playing HER baby (as she so proudly informed us), I realized she was learning an important skill. She emulated me taking care of her baby brother. She nurtured her baby: feeding her, dressing her, rocking her baby to sleep. These are all things she wanted to do for her brother but couldn’t (due to the fact that he’s too heavy for her to carry/hold).
It didn’t matter to Sophia that her baby was white. She doesn’t even talk about her baby’s skin color. She just wanted a doll to love and to care for. And it had to be one she picked out herself.
She just wants to be like her mom. I’m her role model. I already know this, but seeing her play with the doll reminds me how much she looks up to me. I couldn’t be prouder and more flattered.
That’s a hundred times more important than her baby doll’s skin tone.