Before I ever became a mother, I just knew that I would teach my children my native language, Vietnamese. Though I was born in the US, English isn’t my first language. I spoke no English until I started kindergarten. I’m first generation, so preserving the culture and language was very important to my parents. Not to mention their English was adequate but not great. (This also explains why I have no southern accent since I grew up in the South.)
When we were still dating, I told my husband that our children would be taught Vietnamese. Luckily he was smart and let me have my way. I didn’t plan to become a stay at home mom four years ago, but it worked out that way. I’m really lucky I’m able to work from home. This allowed me to spend most of my time with Sophia.
My husband doesn’t speak Vietnamese. He speaks only English. In fact, he passed his college Spanish classes by the skin of his teeth. I spoke Vietnamese to her ever since she was born.
It was awkward speaking Vietnamese to a baby at first. I’m not really a baby talk person, so speaking this cute person who could only drool back took getting used to. I felt silly talking to her. What should I talk about? Odd question coming from someone who can’t shut up, I know. I just knew that I HAD to do it if I wanted her to speak Vietnamese.
The insecurities were all with me. Even though Vietnamese is my first language, it’s not the one I’m most comfortable with. Even my sister and I mainly speak in English with each other. I can only read simple words in Vietnamese (a much harder language to learn to read than English). My Viet vocabulary is limited.
Hubby and I argue whether Sophia’s first word was “Mama” or “Ba,” which means dad in Vietnamese. Once she began talking, the word she used the most was ăn, meaning eat. I was a proud mom. Her main language was Vietnamese (in fact my mother-in-law complained that she didn’t speak enough English.).
Now that she’s 4 years old, English is her primary language. Half the time I forget to speak Vietnamese with her. She understands it but won’t speak it. I just thought maybe it was because her father only spoke English and she wanted him to understand her (her words, not mine).
The other day, as I spoke to her in Vietnamese, I realized that she didn’t really understand everything I said.
My heart sank. I felt like a failure. We had been doing so well for her first 2-3 years. My mom sent us Vietnamese language music CDs and DVDs. I scoured Amazon for bilingual books as well as borrowing them from the library.
Learning Vietnamese isn’t as glamourous as other languages, like Japanese, Spanish or even Chinese. There are not cute toys that speak Vietnamese when you press their tummy. The flow of the translated books were awkward and unnatural (once I passed the single word on a page books). Compared to the production value of Dora the Explorer or Sesame Street, the Vietnamese DVDs failed miserably. She’s too young to start taking Rosetta Stone lessons. (just joking)
I guess I gave up. I wasn’t consciously teaching her Vietnamese.But I can’t. I have to restart. Now I have another young mind to teach Vietnamese. He needs to learn it too.
My sister (who thankfully lives near me), discussed this too. She speaks mostly Vietnamese to Sophia also. I’m happy that she and I are taking the kids to visit my parents over Easter weekend. There, they’ll be surrounded by our (very loud & talkative) large family.
After picking up my copy of the The Bilingual Edge again, I felt less guilty. I also have an action plan.
I want to start a Vietnamese speaking playgroup in my area. I just have no idea where to start looking. I’m not as involved in the Vietnamese community in my area. Do you know any Vietnamese speaking families in the DC Metro area who wants to meet for playgroup?
Whether my kids become fluent in Vietnamese or not, I want to expose them to it as much as possible. It is part of their heritage after all.
Photo via Rishi Menon
Oh girl. I'm so proud of you for even starting. My kids know very little Korean and I am ashamed. At the same time, I fell as though I am doing all I can to keep my head above water to teach them to be good citizens, how to read, write, do math, etc, share, play nicely, be respectful…!
In our case, it's my husband who speaks another language (Spanish) but he's never spoken to Lucas in Spanish, despite my strong urging. I took spanish in high school and college so got lots of spanish books and CDs and would read/sing to him when he was little. Obviously that wasn't/isn't enough. Maybe I will bring this up with Abel again. Maybe we just need to move to Mexico for a few months (a dream of mine!)I think the playgroup idea is awesome. Are there any good Vietnamese restaurants maybe you could post a flyer at? That might be a good start.Good luck!
Don't be discouraged, it's not too late…in fact with the addition of a little brother, it's a great opportunity to get Sophia to help teach the baby! It's never too late, and they're still well within the "window" when it's easy.The best advice I ever got for raising bilingual kids was to pick a time and place (meals, in the car, etc.) where you only speak your language. This is just a start, and will get you going. During that time and place, narrate everything you're doing in Vietnamese, and even SING it, if you can. Just repeat the phrases as a song. Simple tune. No pressure, you need not be Julie Andrews. Just remember the goal is that they see you doing things, and hear how to say it in Vietnamese. Singing helps it stick, and brings smiles.That's how we started with Spanish for our kids. We got so into it, that we ended up sharing our songs, developing classes and have made a business out of it…it really works. Also, find a sitter to be with them a couple afternoons a week who will play with them in Vietnamese. Get help, if you can!Good luck, and don't be discouraged, your little one knows more than you think, just get back on the horse!Pina Madera http://www.singalingo.com
I think your play group is a great idea. I feel like my kids are losing out by speaking only one language, though my husband and I know only bits and pieces of others.What a wonderful gift for your children.
We actually have the Rosetta Stone program (for me and for the toddler) though we've yet to start it. FOR SHAME. I just this year decided to get some Viet/English kid books to start the process. Peter, like you, grew up with Viet as his first language, but once he learned English his proficiency lagged. He now only speaks it when he has to, and isn't the person I ask for advice on what a word means. I have a few other friends that speak it all the time at home, so they're better at the subtle differences if I need help.For me it's hard because the tones and accents aren't ones I'm used to in English. Peter tends to make fun if I pronounce something wrong (in a joking manner, but still NOT helpful!). It's easier for me to read since it's pretty phonetic, but I have trouble with speaking, so I don't. This all means that our daughter pretty much only knows how to say Noi (and doesn't realize that his mother and father are two different kinds of "Nois" ERRRRR). It's so hard being the one that stays home with the kids who doesn't speak the language you're trying to at least expose them to.
Ahhhh…. I'm glad I'm not struggling with this alone! Of all my 6 Asian-White married friends, I'm the only one teaching my kids their native language. It's discouraging because sometimes my kids want to know why their half-Asian friends don't have to speak another language. I have 3 kids and have spoken to them in Vietnamese since they were born. I'm not completely fluent and speak the Central (Hue) dialect, which makes it harder because no one sounds like me when we go to the Vietnamese shops. We live in So. CA. My kids used to speak VN until they were 2 and for a while they were resistent, but I'm stubborn and would continue to talk to them in Vietnamese. They're a bit more interested now 🙂 Last summer, for 4 months, my sister and I would hold "Vietnamese class". The kids learned words and phrases and they earned points which later translated into fake money. Every few months, we'd open up "Vietnamese store" and they could buy stuff with the money they earned. We would teach using those basic Vietnamese dictionaries on Amazon. They also have a Vietnamese children's music CD that I bought. My kids like listening to it, but I've dropped the ball. Again, they sing in a different dialect so it sounds differently than how I'd pronounce the words, but I guess it's better than nothing… I still don't have a good method on how to go about teaching them Vietnamese. I would love to have a Vietnamese play group.Has anyone tried Dino Lingo? I am temped to buy it. It looks like a neat program. I also saw the Griesser Program which has games for the kids. I'd be interested to hear any feedback.Don't lose heart even though you might feel like pulling out your hair and giving up.! Your (our) kids will be really thankful you did one day. 🙂
I am in South O.C and would love to join a Vietnamese speaking group to help my kids learn Vietnamese.
Emd, wow! I love the idea of Vietnamese classes. That sounds like fun. I wish I felt comfortable enough with my Vietnamese to my kids.Yes, I recently discovered Dino Lingo and really liked it. Here's my review: <a href="https://www.imnotthenanny.com/2012/10/learning-vietnamese-with-dino-lingo.htmlhttps://www.imnotthenanny.com/2012/10/learning-vie… />I'll hceck out the Griesser Program too!
You moms are my heros! I'm in the same position and don't know where to start. :-(. I speak Hue as well.. But English is my primary language except when I peak to my parents. I'm in Orlando.. You're doing a fantastic job.
HI,
WHERE SOCAL DO YOU LIVE..? I AM TOO IN SOUTH ORANGE COUNTY. WHERE I LIVE THERE ISNT TOO MANY ASIAN. I WANTED TO TEACH MY KIDS NOI TIENG VIET BUT JUST FEEL FUNNY WHEN I STARTED TO SPEAK TO THEM. I AM LOOKING FOR A MOM GROUP OR CLASS SO MY KIDS CAN LEARN AND EXPOSE THEM TO MY LANGUAGE SPEAKING.
I have been trying to teach my kids Vietnamese for the last two years and about to give up. My son is not getting it at all. I would like to join a group that speaks mainly Vietnamese, hopefully that would help. I live in South OC.