Now that I’m a mother of two, I’ve become a much more relaxed mom. That was not always the case. With my first, I was so nervous about breastfeeding. All of those books and magazines gave a lot of advice. Since I had no experience with breastfeeding nor did I know anyone who had nursed their children, I read as much as I could.
I tried to follow the advice. Such as, put a safety pin on your bra so you could remember which breast you nursed on last. After the first couple of sleepless nights, I was lucky to remember how to undo my bra to nurse! I stressed over every little thing. Did she nurse long enough on each side? What if she didn’t nurse on both breasts each time? How come she nursed constantly? The books had said every 2-3 hours for a newborn.
Of course everything worked out. My daughter and I learned how to breastfeed together. At her one month check-up, she weighed in the 90th percentile. If I couldn’t remember which side I nursed last, I just checked to see which breast felt fuller.
She still, however, nursed fairly often. When she did nurse, she would just hang out after she finished feeding. She would stay latched for 30-45 minutes each time. I felt like all I did was nurse. I was a milk machine. I felt tied down. When I did work my one or two nights a week, I rushed home so I could nurse her. No matter who watched her, she refused a bottle and cried until she passed out. To make things worse, she wouldn’t take a bottle until she was 5 months old.
Then there were the growth spurts! With growth spurts, babies nurse more often, sometimes as often as an hour. I understood that these growth spurts help increase milk supply for the growing babies, but they drove me crazy. I’d pull out my go to guide, The Nursing Mother’s Companion, to comfort myself. The growth spurts and constant nursing only lasted a few days until my milk production was at the level the baby needed. Knowing that there was an end in sight helped me through it.
As she grew older, my confidence in breastfeeding grew. She became a more efficient nurser, so our sessions didn’t last as long. I even nursed in public! We were pros. My heart was so full and happy as I watched her grow up healthy and strong, thanks to my mother’s milk.
She was a very independent baby. She always wanted to do everything by herself. As she started walking and eating more solids, she nursed less often. Slowly, she needed me to carry her less and less. I actually came to miss our nursing sessions. I craved the closeness we had as she nursed. It became our time, mother and daughter, to reconnect after a busy day.
Now that she’s four and is always on the move, some days I realize that we haven’t had any snuggle time. Looking back, I wished I’d cherished our nursing sessions more. Now with baby #2, I don’t see breastfeeding as being constant attached to him, but as our special time together. Before I know it, he’ll be four years old. I have to enjoy our nursing sessions while I can.