Whenever I attend a social media conference, one of the first questions we ask each other is, “What’s your blog about?” I get plenty of practice telling my story of what motivated me to start this site. I tell it so often. I’ve even told my story on NPR and the Washington Post. But I forget how shocking it can be to some people.
Until I meet others who have interracial or intercultural families.
As soon as I explain the title of my blog, I see recognition in their eyes. Yes, they have experiences being mistaken for a nanny or have a close friend or family member who receives the similar queries. It’s exciting for both of us to connect in through our experiences, to connect past the small talk of where we’re from and have you been to this conference before.
Meeting a kindred spirit always makes my heart do a loop-de-loop.
Over the weekend during SoFabCon, I ran into my friend Amiyrah of 4 Hats and Frugal in the hotel lobby and attempted to convince her to come with me to get a pedicure. Instead, I convinced the person with her to come with me. Kim Vij took a leap and braved the pouring rain with me, a complete stranger, to get our toes prettied up It probably helped that we were both named Kim.
We had a blast.
First of all, the pedicure we received was one of the best ones I’ve every gotten. I’m sure it helped that I spoke Vietnamese to the staff once I realized it was run by Viet folks. (I’ll pull my Viet card to get good service.) As our legs and feet were pampered and the massage chairs eased our backs achy from traveling, Kim and I got to know each other.
Kim Vij co-runs Educator’s Spin, a blog with educational resources for parents and their young children. She’s also married to Indian American and has mixed kids. Over salt scrubs, we chatted about cultural differences in our families and how we adapted to them. She told me all about the delicious Indian food she made for her family. I find that it’s easier to connect with someone over food. We spent the rest of the weekend hanging out together and I plan on staying in touch with Kim.
The best part during this conversation was that Kim’s nail technician is mixed race. At first glance, she looks very Caucasian but we learned that she’s part Vietnamese. She was very comfortable in her skin, even though her coworkers teased her about not speaking the language. The young technician fully embraced her cultural backgrounds and was proud of who she is.
The conference’s Saturday keynote was delivered by Denise Barreto, who emphasized the importance of telling our story as often as we can. Every time we tell our story, not only does the listener learn about us, but we, as the storyteller, the story builder, learn more about ourselves.
I realized this hours after the keynote, when I filmed this video with Touchcast, one of the SoFabCon sponsors. I love writing about food and tech here, but I know many of you visit to hear my story.
I might have told my story many times throughout the weekend, but telling the nail tech my story taught me most of all. She reminded me that my story is important because it helps others realize that they’re not alone. While I may not have all the answers to the challenges of raising biracial children, my experiences aren’t unique to our family. With my readers (YOU!) we can begin the discussion of a sensitive but important topic of race and culture.
I will keep telling my story, but I want to hear yours too. Please tell me your story, either in the comments or by email me at kim at imnotthenanny.com. If you’re interested in having your story published on this site, let me know.
Love this. I often feel the same way when I connect with other parents of children who have special needs. It automatically ties us together because of our experiences. I don't know much about your story but look forward to hearing more 🙂
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How excited to have a special feature about me on I'm Not the Nanny. It was such a special treat to have the opportunity to spend time with you Kim and get to know you. It's amazing how quickly to people can connect over a long overdue pedicure! I love getting to know families and the stories behind them. With 21 years of parenting, 10 years of teaching and 12 years of marriage to my Indian prince my story trail is getting longer and more detailed day by day. I can't wait to get to know you more and hopefully plan a Hangout On Air soon to discuss some of the situations and strategies we use as we raise our biracial children.
At the end of the day it's all about your story. And pedicures. And feathers. But your story is what's most important.
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Love your post and thanks for letting me know I touched your life in some small way. Hey- we are Blaxicans – my husband is from Mexico so I was mistaken for the nanny many a times in the early days. And I cannot understand that them being a few shades light mattered- they looked exactly like me. Enjoy your day and let’s keep in touch!
This is so true, and it's especially important for kids in mixed race families who may never see or know a child who "looks like" they do. It was so empowering for me growing up to connect with others who had similar experiences. Now, ironically, I also in an interracial marriage, but my kids look white. I'm still the odd one out. At least I'm used to it. 😉
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I agree with you. Denise's words hit me hard. I have them printed at my desk at work now. :O)
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Love it. I wish I had more time to hang with you this year. I feel like in many ways I tell my story but if you asked me "what is your story" I'm not sure I would have a straight answer.