Short haircuts are a catalyst for reinvention, right?
I read somewhere once that the average person changes careers every 10 years or so. As we change careers,we reinvent ourselves to fit into our new role.
For moms, the moments of redefining our identities coincides with our children’s milestones: becoming a mother, sending our kids to all day school, sending the youngest to kindergarten or graduating from high school (our children, not us). Each item we check off our children’s progress chart means we’ve survived that phase of motherhood. So did our children, thank goodness. Instead of delighting in the amazing feat we just accomplished, mothers jump right into the next child rearing phase.
I feel like I’m on the cusp of changing how I identify myself. The change is there, right out of reach. So close, yet I have no idea how exactly I will reinvent myself.
I wasn’t eager to claim the title of Mother until after Sophia was born. Otherwise I felt like an impostor. I was just pretending to be a mom when she was just baking in the oven. Not until after she was born did I tell myself, “Now I’m a mom.”
Ten years ago, I was not yet a mother; I was a costumer and theatre educator. Working in the theatre makes for great ice breakers at parties. Making costumes and working with actors sounded interesting.
Nine years ago, I quit my not-so-cushy theatre job to the not-so-cushy but a million times fulfilling job of stay-at-home mom.
Eight years ago, I put whatever was left of my energy to grow my direct sales business. Because I needed money for diapers and groceries. During this time I embraced my business and loved helping other women. Party conversations were even more interesting that when I just did theatre. People thought my job as a sex toy party consultant was fascinating?
And so my redefining moments continued: starting a blog, joining a mom’s group, birthing Jaxson, sending Sophia to kindergarten, and finally letting go of my identity as a sex toy party consultant.
And now what?
I can feel that restlessness in me. It’s back. It’s telling me I need more. To do more. To be more. I’m just not sure what more is yet. I will always define myself as a mother, but I need more. My multi-passionate self needs more than one identity.
Reinvention happens slowly. Sometimes without us realizing it. I’m not sure what my next role is, but I trust the universe to lead me the way I’m meant to go.
Every month I’ll be revealing the truth about motherhood with 12 other writers. Follow the hashtag #NakedMoms to read our stories or check them out below:
Motherhood and Reinvention by Stephanie at When Crazy Meets Exhaustion
Let’s Reinvent The Term: Working Mother by Joyce at Mommy Talk Show
After Motherhood, Any Other Reinvention Is No Big Deal by Jessica at A Parent In America
A Mother On The Cusp Of Reinvention by Thien-Kim at I’m Not The Nanny
Reinventing The Feel by Brandi at Mama Knows It All
Maybe It’s Not Meant To Be by Makeba at MelisaSource
I'm looking forward to seeing what the next step in your reinvention will be. These changes do happen every few years or so, huh? I never really sat down to track what the changes were, and what motivated them. That might make a good self reflection activity.
I still need to go back and read your sex party consultant posts because they sound amazing.
Just like you I feel a restlessness and I know it will mean more time away from our son.
The mommy guilt has already started to mount!
My recent post [VIDEO]: Let’s Reinvent the Term: Working Mother #NakedMoms
I don't really think of myself in terms of my labels. I've always felt the same no matter what I'm doing. I think it helps me weather change, though moving into the half-empty nest identity is harder than I anticipated.
My recent post Earth Shoes for Spring!