Happy New Year! I hope your 2014 is off to a good start. We rang in the new year in our pajamas and a Spy Kids movie marathon. It was just the relaxing new year’s eve I needed. Usually I choose my word for the year in mid-December but I’m late. I’ve been thinking about my word of the year for 2014 since late November. After struggling for a word that resonated with me, it came to me last night.
My 2014 word of the year is EMBRACE.
For the past week I’ve been sneaking pockets of time to read Happier at Home by Gretchen Rubin for my From Left to Write book club. (I tried really hard to finish it before midnight, but still had 30 pages to go into the new year.) In the book, Rubin chose a theme every month for nine months as a basis to make her home (as in her surroundings) happier. She resolved to kiss her husband twice a day (Marriage), decluttered shelf-by-shelf (Possessions), and went on adventures with her older daughter (Parenthood).
I admit that the first half of the book made me feel inadequate. Rubin thoughtfully chose each month’s resolutions and accomplished many of her goals for each month. Should I set a theme for each month as well? The chapter on marriage made me realize that I don’t kiss my husband enough. Which prompted me to later apologize to him for not kissing him enough. His reply? “You don’t like kissing a lot. That’s ok.” And he meant it.
The chapter about parenthood made me feel inadequate as well. Rubin attempts what she calls underreacting. Compared to my parents (or my sister) I’m pretty good at underreacting to the kids’ bickering, spills, etc. The past week with my four-year-old has been challenging. He’s openly defiant about things like going to use the bathroom and washing his hands. Which leads to accidents and lots of crying (on his part). Patience has never been my strong suit and I’ve lost my temper with him more than I should have.
Then Rubin got to January (Time), about the halfway point of her journey to make her home happier. Even she felt the slump. Even she felt like she hadn’t done enough or she continued to break the same resolutions again and again. Resolving to be happy isn’t easy.
I was being too hard on myself. I’m human. I’m not perfect. Neither is Rubin as she freely admits in her book. I guess people expect that an expert on happiness is always happy but not so. Whenever Rubin hit an obstacle on her journey, she repeated her mantra: Be Gretchen. As in being herself. To honor who she is and the desires and foibles that are a part of her.
That’s when my word for this year came to me.
I will EMBRACE myself for who I am.
Instead of beating myself up for losing my temper with the kids or not kissing my husband enough, I will accept that I am me. I might not like make out sessions like I did back in our college days, but I can make more of an effort to kiss him everyday like Rubin resolved to do with her husband. Or I can work next to him on the couch in the evenings (my office hours) while he watches television that that we are near each other. Sometimes I just miss being physically near him.
The word Embrace resonates with my view on my work and business too. I am going to fully embrace my ambitious nature and allow myself to dream big. Allow myself to create and achieve goals I might have felt guilty about making, for fear of being too ambitious. I have to honor who I am and not just do what I think I should do. I will embrace all that I achieved and stop to celebrate before moving to my next achievement.
I’m going to Be Thien-Kim.
What is your word for 2014?
This post was inspired by Happier at Home by Gretchen Rubin where she runs a nine month experiment to create happier surroundings. Join From Left to Write on January 6 we discuss Happier at Home. You can also chat live with Gretchen Rubin on January 7 on Facebook! As a member, I received a copy of the book for review purposes.
Love your word and was inspired by your ideas, will place this book on my to read list!
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My word is passion!! I have let my attitude towards being a mom and wife drain me instead of energize me like it used to!! I miss the fire that I once had for my family and business so I am excited to rekindle the flame in my heart for the things I was once passionate about. 🙂
Oooh! Hubba hubba!
I love this post, what a gift to us followers, so raw & honest. I need to read this book, your word choice is fabulous. My word is acceptance.
Jane, thank you for reading and your feedback! Acceptance is a great word!
Great word! Happier at Home gave me so many great ideas. I wasn't going to read a January book but I'm so glad I decided to. Thanks for the opportunity!
PS Gave you a shout-out in my newest blog post!
My recent post Word of The Year.
Nancy, I'm glad you enjoyed Happier at Home!
I love this word for you. and the review of the book. We always beat ourselves up as moms, thinking we don't do enough for our families or ourselves. Sometimes we just need to embrace what we DO accomplish and treat ourselves like the wonderful human beings we are.
So true–instead of beating ourselves up, accept who we are. That doesn't mean we can't improve. It just means we are embracing ourselves and positive change instead of fear, insecurity or guilt.
Love this article!
I think (I am sure) it's very important to accept who we are. After we accept who we are it's easier.
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My word is empower. Nothing beats embracing one's self however.
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Great word Kim! I will have to check this book out for 2014.
Great choice! Looking forward to seeing you embrace 2014.
Great word choice! I'm having a hard time choosing a word for the year, but hopefully I land on one as good as yours!
What a great word! i had to giggle a little about you making out in college 🙂 My word this year is breathe. I need to take a step back, breathe deeply and enjoy life!
My recent post Happier at Home
Very nice post – my word for the year is reconcile. I will try my best to see what I have, what I need, and what I don't need and reconcile those so that I can hopefully feel like my life is more in order.
One thing I started to tell myself last year when I was trying to let go of my perfectionist tendencies: "I'm not giving up, I'm letting go." It's taken a long time for me to say that it's not settling to be satisfied with who I am, how I look, and what I do. It is – as you put it – embracing myself as good enough!
I love that! "Letting go." Thanks for sharing!
Great word! I think as women and especially as bloggers we have a tendency to try and always be our BEST selves, and always show that part of us but sometimes it is okay to be vulnerable and embrace our down moments too!
You are so right! i think as bloggers, it's so easy to only show the perfect or beautiful moments on our blog and gloss over the not so good. But that's no fun, right?
I like your word choice…kind of reminds me of my word, 'possibility'. I want to embrace what is in front of me, in the moment, and available to me.
Oooh, I like that word! Possibilities are so exciting.
That is a perfect word!! And I love "I will embrace who I am" <3
My recent post Happier At Home
I love your word
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I LOVE picking a word for the year, and applaud your choice! My phrase, or theme, this year is My Own Truth. Will be writing about it soon.
I love this idea of choosing a word for the year. Recently I have been drawn to the word luminous, I'm going to make it my word. I'm not too sure that luminous will make me happier at home but it's worth a try. I'll start with reviewing the lighting!
I subscribe to Gretchen's emails, she is inspiring… and I love that she admits that happy people are not happy all the time. Its human to want to do better and aim to be happy but stuff happens even if its ourselves that gets in the way. My mom, when I went to college for freshman orientation, the University asked the parents to write a small something to the students, to read during orientation. On a note, my mom wrote simply, Be you. Be happy. At the time I thought ok, weird. But thinking about it now it was such great advice! Being you, lets you be free to be you. Your husband appreciates you and understands you and loves you for YOU! Kissing him more will make you both happy. I like the idea of monthly goals as well. Definitely will be putting her book on my list to read.
My recent post Can I be MORE like Jesus?
You're absolutely right. My husband will appreciate it if I kiss him more. I will definitely work harder on it.
I love the choice of embrace for your word. It's so perfect!
And the monthly themes? That was definitely too much for me, but … that's me. And we all have to find our own personal ways to fulfillment. Here's hoping you embrace yours!
I don't think I could do themes either. I don't like rigid rules. I get bored.
Excellent choice of words, and ideas!! and, can I say, I love your husband!!! (“You don’t like kissing a lot. That’s ok.”) We're all unique, and what brings happiness to one, won't work for another.
Like you, I often felt inadequate reading Rubin's book, but most of the time I felt annoyed, because I felt she was very close-minded. But it did make me think, and I continue to look around my family and home for ways to make our home a haven for each of us. And some of her ideas are useful!
Thanks for a wonderful year of reading with you and the FL2W group, and looking forward to more interesting reads in 2014!
Ha! I love my husband too!